The day before, 9:24am.
(Deacon's residence)
Deacon parted one of the window curtains of the palour, slightly, to see who was driving in. A car had pulled inside the compound almost noiselessly, it looked new and seemed to be in good condition. He recognized it, it was Dr Odili's car. Doc rarely came to visit, he only visited on special occasions like the family's thanksgiving ceremonies or at deacon's birthday celebrations. This was none of them.
Deacon walked towards the front door to open the door, as doc walked up to the front porch of the house. The men had exchanged pleasantries, when deacon opened the door and welcomed him in. Doc sat on the double settee sofa, he had a brown A4 sized envelope with him. Deacon knew something was wrong when doc didn't hand over the tests result immediately, instead he got on talking about taking 'things in good faith' and how that good could come out of even the worst of events and so on. Was it a terminal disease or what? Worse case scenario, if he died, his family would receive good support; he had a solid Life assurance policy. Deacon thought as doc spoke.
Doyin had been cooking with her mom in the smaller kitchen upstairs, unaware of the visit till they heard her mom's name, thundered by her dad from the sitting room downstairs. Both Doyin and her mom had looked at each other with terror, then rushed down, thinking, some accident had happened. Doyin outran her mom down the stairs. She ran into her dad just as she got into the sitting room, he too, was headed up to meet them. In a fit of rage deacon had knocked her hard, with the inner side of his clenched right fist on her temples, right on top of her ear. The force sent her head and torso with great force into colliding with the wall. She fell straight on the marble floor with a thud, knocking herself out instantly. The last sound she heard was doc's voice trying to restrain her father.That was all she remembered. It was when she woke up in the hospital later that night that she found out why her dad had hit her: the test result doc brought showed she was about two months pregnant.
But she didn't feel pregnant or different.
The physical pain and the trauma of the news paralyzed her for hours. Her head was bandaged and the smell of drugs that hung thick in the room, was not helping. Her mom, was asleep on a chair inside her room, it was a private ward . Doyin could tell her mom had been at her side all day because she had on the same clothes she did, while they were both cooking in the morning.
She spent four days and a half during her admission at the clinic, Dr. Odili was very kind to her during this time. He often came to her ward to see her. Her dad didn't show up at the hospital until two days after her admission. When he did, he came to give her his ultimatum. She was to choose one of two; abort the baby or get disowned! As a deacon from a strict church, he knew abortion was not supposed to be an option but his name and reputation was at stake. His greatest driving force was protecting his reputation in church. He felt like a hypocrite for even accommodating the thought but he was desperate. Fornication is one, why add murder to it and multiply transgressions?
'But dad, we're Christians, you've often said abortion is murd...'
'Shut-up you little whore! You and who are Christians? You didn't think about that before jumping on the jolly wagon of fornication, you evil child!' Deacon was furious, he fumed as he spoke. His wife could say little, she knew it did no good to try to convince him at times like this. She just sobbed quietly.
'I don't even want to know who the father of the bastard is, if I find him...Idiots! I shall not be dragged into this scandal. You will kill that baby and that's all!'
He concluded and walked out. Doyin began crying again, while her mom tried to console her. Deacon was a strict man, even other deacons on the church's board thought his was excessive. He prided himself as a stickler for holiness and discipline.
'Even if our beloved Reverend is reported to have stolen or been involved in any other vice, I will personally pull him down from the pulpit, mid sermon! The pulpit is no place for sin.' He had once boasted after one church board meeting.
******
Three days later.
'In my darkest hour.
When no one's around.
And the waters overwhelming, rise.
When even I, is against I.
Yet, Jesus comes to me.
Saviour, lover and friend.
Jesus, you're ever near to me.
Your grace is more, so much more.'
'Next in, Tosin Adedeji!' The receptionist called out.
As he heard his name, he folded the paper and put it back into the breast pocket of his shirt and got up. Last night he had cried as he prayed for long hours about his music ministry, Doyin and the baby. He had fallen asleep and awoken this morning with those words and a melody ringing in his spirit. He immediately wrote them down. He would find time to meet Shedrach, his friend and keyboardist, to get the tune right to this song.
Tosin got up to go in and meet Bishop Hanson. It had been a long wait, several people were in line to see the Bishop. He thanked the receptionist and walked in.
It was a large and impressive office. It wasn't his first time there though, yet it always dazzled him. The curtains and drapes all around were either of gold or white colour. The floor was covered with a thick, dull yellow coloured rug carpet that complemented the curtains and cream coloured wall. There was a large, ornamented table having several books and a laptop on it, placed centrally. A mini library was at the far right of the office which had volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica, several Christian literature and a sizeable reading table. To the far left, it had a resting compartment demarcated by a thin, almost transparent curtain. It had a large flat screen television and cable TV decoder. The office was heavily air conditioned. Then there was an inconspicuous door that led to a private toilet and shower room, hidden behind the library book shelf. Bishop was inside the resting compartment.
'Ah Tosin, you're here, come right in.' Bishop Hanson was always pleased to see him. Tosin walked in and sat on one of the seats.
He had planned to tell Bishop about Doyin's pregnancy. But he just couldn't find the right moment to do it. They ended up talking only about the planned UK crusade trip. As he got up to leave, Bishop also stood and they both walked out of the resting compartment.
'I need you to accompany me this coming Sunday, I've been invited to minister at Holiness First Assembly down town. I'll ask them and they'll give you a slot to minister in songs before I come up...' Bishop paused to study Tosin's reaction then added, 'it's the headquarters here in the state. Surely you've heard about Holiness First Assembly. It's a big opportunity for you, are you up for it?'
Tosin was hesitant, the church name got his attention, 'Holiness First Assembly.' A time when one is expecting a baby out of wedlock isn't the best time to be invited to any Holiness gathering, he reasoned. Bad market.
'It's okay to say no, though...I already know you're busy with responsibilities in your own church.' Bishop stretched out his hand towards him as he spoke. It had an envelope in it.
'Thank you sir,' Tosin collected the envelope with both hands, 'it's a privilege sir, I will join you sir!'
'I hope the money in the envelope is not what is inspiring you, my young man?' Bishop joked. They both burst out laughing.
'No sir, it's not.'
'Very well then, my driver will pick you up by 8am Sunday morning, be prepared...and tell my receptionist to apologize to those waiting and reschedule them for tomorrow, something important just came up. I shan't see any more visitors today.'
*****
Doyin's hospital ward.
Dr Odili was pleased with Doyin's recovery pace. She had responded well to treatments. As Doyin got better, she finally able to tell her mom the whole story, about her and Tosin.
'I believe you Dodo, I believe everything you've said but your dad is still much upset, so I think it's better we keep the young man out of the picture for now. Ok?'
'Ok mom. Thank you for being here for me.' Doyin squeezed her mom's hand lovingly.
'What's the young man's name again?' Her mom asked as she arranged the beverages she bought on top of the small drawer beside the bed.
'Tosin ma, Tosin Adedeji but mom promise me that dad won't hear this name till I decide...'
'You don't need to tell me that. I know the man I married. He could do something to the young man he will regret later.'
Mrs Beatrice Cooker, Doyin's mom, was a soft spoken and light skinned woman, whose age only dignified her beauty. She was as displeased as her husband about Doyin's unplanned pregnancy but was more temperate. She understood that her love would do more now for her daughter than a thousand scolds, after all, the deed was already done. 'Why cry over spilt milk?'
'Tosin? I hope he's not some irresponsible street urchin somewhere?' Mrs Cooker pressed.
'Ah ah naa...mummy!?' A playful frown flashed over Doyin's face.
'Anyway, some good news, doc said by tomorrow evening, you'd be free to go home. Lucky for you the signs of pregnancy are not showing up on you at all yet, so you can attend the the 39th anniversary special service at church this Sunday.'
'I don't know about that mom...'
'Ehn en. No complaints. You don't want to aggravate your dad hostilities towards you than it already is, he hasn't spoken again about the abortion you know. Don't push your luck. I'm going home, I shall be back tomorrow.' Mrs Cooker ruffled her daughter's hair then picked up her bag and walked out.
******
Doyin didn't say a word as they drove to church, in fact, nobody in the car did. An awkward silence pervaded the whole car. Deacon Cooker, wore his trademark expressionless look and focused more than was necessary on the road -it was his attempt at evading the awkward situation in the car. Mrs Beatrice Cooker sat in the front passenger's seat. Olamide, Doyin direct elder brother, who had come in from his NYSC post the night before, had his earpiece on, nothing was playing though on his phone. He was thinking about Doyin and what his mom had told him about her drastic change and unexpected pregnancy.
They had sat in the cool evening breeze at the house balcony. His mom's conclusion was probably true, but he knew it would be hard to follow.
'Your sister needs our love and encouragement, especially at this time in her life, she had said.
'Oh God! I can't believe this, I know Doyin is wayward but...'
'Was, Olamide. Was wayward.' His mom her corrected him, 'she's changed now and bring down your voice before your sister hears you, she's still awake in her room.'
'What difference does it make, mom? If it's was or is, the baby is still coming. Isn't it?' He was exasperated. He got up to leave.
"And if you check it out, the 'Bob Marley' who's responsible for the pregnancy, will be some irresponsible juvenile somewhere!"
'Tosin Adedeji. Not Bob Marley.' Mrs Cooker had spoken to correct without thinking about her promise to Doyin to keep the name a secret.
Olamide's eyes widened with a sinister look.
'So that's his name abi...?'
Mrs Cooker put her left palm over her opened mouth. 'Oh no. I shouldn't have said that...you must never say that name to your dad, pleeease.'
He had given her a disgusted gaze and walked out on his mom that night without replying. 'Tosin Adedeji', he internalized it. He would never forget it.
When he came to, his dad was driving into their church's rusted red gate. He looked at the old sign post, the bold print: 'Holiness First Assembly' was the only clear writing on it, most of the other info had cleaned off wholly or partly.
'Does everything have to look old and worn out to be holy?' He thought aloud. No one spoke.
They all alighted from car, and began adjusting their clothes to go inside the church for the service.
'First row, on the right mid aisle: One family!' Deacon finally spoke as he locked the car door.
Everyone knew what he meant. The whole family sitting together on the 'first row of the right middle aisle.'
Doyin and Olamide exchanged glances and began walking in. They hated the one family sitting arrangement.
******
The service was mid way through, Olamide looked at his watch. 10:49am. The guest ministers arrived during the hymnal session. Bishop Hanson and his entourage. Doyin's hymn book fell off her hands as she looked up from it at the entourage and recognized Tosin among them. He hadn't seen her though. She felt like her head was spinning and reached out, grabbed her seat and sat down.
'Oh God, no! This can't be happening.'
The entourage, including Tosin was led to the first row, left mid aisle, where elders had reserved seats while the Bishop was taken to sit beside the resident pastor.
As the hymn session was ending Doyin got up and walked out. She had told her mom she wanted to use the ladies convenience, that wasn't entirely true. She wondered what had brought Tosin to their church.
Bishop had made the arrangements already, as the members of the congregation took their seats at the end of the hymns, a lanky elderly man with all grey hair walked up to take the microphone. He was a deacon too.
'Praise God church!'
'Hallelujah!' The congregation responded.
'We are glad to have a true servant of God in our midst today. One whose efforts have pushed the Gospel far in our days. Bishop Hanson!' The congregation applauds in response.
'But to lead us into that presence of God, where our hearts are ready for the sermon, the Bishop has graciously brought a young ministrel along. Kindly put your hands together for Jesus as we make welcome Minister Toship; Tosin Adedeji!'
A look of sudden alarm flashed through Olamide's eyes amidst the ongoing applause. "Tosin what?!"
Deacon Cooker sat beside his son clapping along.
"Dad? 'Tosin who?', did they just announce?"
Deacon looked disinterestedly at Olamide with obvious disapproval for a second before replying. 'What importance is that to you? Can't you be reverent in the house of God?' Of course he had heard the full name but wasn't going to join in whatever puerile games Olamide was at.
'Oh come on dad..' Olamide looked desperate. 'If that young man is Tosin Adedeji, then he's very likely the one responsible for Doyin's pregnancy!'
He had hit the wrong button and he instantly regretted his hasty words. Deacon turned sharply to him, the look in his eyes had changed. It was fierce.
'What?! Are you sure of what you just said?'
Olamide looked at his father not sure how to answer.
(Deacon's residence)
Deacon parted one of the window curtains of the palour, slightly, to see who was driving in. A car had pulled inside the compound almost noiselessly, it looked new and seemed to be in good condition. He recognized it, it was Dr Odili's car. Doc rarely came to visit, he only visited on special occasions like the family's thanksgiving ceremonies or at deacon's birthday celebrations. This was none of them.
Deacon walked towards the front door to open the door, as doc walked up to the front porch of the house. The men had exchanged pleasantries, when deacon opened the door and welcomed him in. Doc sat on the double settee sofa, he had a brown A4 sized envelope with him. Deacon knew something was wrong when doc didn't hand over the tests result immediately, instead he got on talking about taking 'things in good faith' and how that good could come out of even the worst of events and so on. Was it a terminal disease or what? Worse case scenario, if he died, his family would receive good support; he had a solid Life assurance policy. Deacon thought as doc spoke.
Doyin had been cooking with her mom in the smaller kitchen upstairs, unaware of the visit till they heard her mom's name, thundered by her dad from the sitting room downstairs. Both Doyin and her mom had looked at each other with terror, then rushed down, thinking, some accident had happened. Doyin outran her mom down the stairs. She ran into her dad just as she got into the sitting room, he too, was headed up to meet them. In a fit of rage deacon had knocked her hard, with the inner side of his clenched right fist on her temples, right on top of her ear. The force sent her head and torso with great force into colliding with the wall. She fell straight on the marble floor with a thud, knocking herself out instantly. The last sound she heard was doc's voice trying to restrain her father.That was all she remembered. It was when she woke up in the hospital later that night that she found out why her dad had hit her: the test result doc brought showed she was about two months pregnant.
But she didn't feel pregnant or different.
The physical pain and the trauma of the news paralyzed her for hours. Her head was bandaged and the smell of drugs that hung thick in the room, was not helping. Her mom, was asleep on a chair inside her room, it was a private ward . Doyin could tell her mom had been at her side all day because she had on the same clothes she did, while they were both cooking in the morning.
She spent four days and a half during her admission at the clinic, Dr. Odili was very kind to her during this time. He often came to her ward to see her. Her dad didn't show up at the hospital until two days after her admission. When he did, he came to give her his ultimatum. She was to choose one of two; abort the baby or get disowned! As a deacon from a strict church, he knew abortion was not supposed to be an option but his name and reputation was at stake. His greatest driving force was protecting his reputation in church. He felt like a hypocrite for even accommodating the thought but he was desperate. Fornication is one, why add murder to it and multiply transgressions?
'But dad, we're Christians, you've often said abortion is murd...'
'Shut-up you little whore! You and who are Christians? You didn't think about that before jumping on the jolly wagon of fornication, you evil child!' Deacon was furious, he fumed as he spoke. His wife could say little, she knew it did no good to try to convince him at times like this. She just sobbed quietly.
'I don't even want to know who the father of the bastard is, if I find him...Idiots! I shall not be dragged into this scandal. You will kill that baby and that's all!'
He concluded and walked out. Doyin began crying again, while her mom tried to console her. Deacon was a strict man, even other deacons on the church's board thought his was excessive. He prided himself as a stickler for holiness and discipline.
'Even if our beloved Reverend is reported to have stolen or been involved in any other vice, I will personally pull him down from the pulpit, mid sermon! The pulpit is no place for sin.' He had once boasted after one church board meeting.
******
Three days later.
'In my darkest hour.
When no one's around.
And the waters overwhelming, rise.
When even I, is against I.
Yet, Jesus comes to me.
Saviour, lover and friend.
Jesus, you're ever near to me.
Your grace is more, so much more.'
'Next in, Tosin Adedeji!' The receptionist called out.
As he heard his name, he folded the paper and put it back into the breast pocket of his shirt and got up. Last night he had cried as he prayed for long hours about his music ministry, Doyin and the baby. He had fallen asleep and awoken this morning with those words and a melody ringing in his spirit. He immediately wrote them down. He would find time to meet Shedrach, his friend and keyboardist, to get the tune right to this song.
Tosin got up to go in and meet Bishop Hanson. It had been a long wait, several people were in line to see the Bishop. He thanked the receptionist and walked in.
It was a large and impressive office. It wasn't his first time there though, yet it always dazzled him. The curtains and drapes all around were either of gold or white colour. The floor was covered with a thick, dull yellow coloured rug carpet that complemented the curtains and cream coloured wall. There was a large, ornamented table having several books and a laptop on it, placed centrally. A mini library was at the far right of the office which had volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica, several Christian literature and a sizeable reading table. To the far left, it had a resting compartment demarcated by a thin, almost transparent curtain. It had a large flat screen television and cable TV decoder. The office was heavily air conditioned. Then there was an inconspicuous door that led to a private toilet and shower room, hidden behind the library book shelf. Bishop was inside the resting compartment.
'Ah Tosin, you're here, come right in.' Bishop Hanson was always pleased to see him. Tosin walked in and sat on one of the seats.
He had planned to tell Bishop about Doyin's pregnancy. But he just couldn't find the right moment to do it. They ended up talking only about the planned UK crusade trip. As he got up to leave, Bishop also stood and they both walked out of the resting compartment.
'I need you to accompany me this coming Sunday, I've been invited to minister at Holiness First Assembly down town. I'll ask them and they'll give you a slot to minister in songs before I come up...' Bishop paused to study Tosin's reaction then added, 'it's the headquarters here in the state. Surely you've heard about Holiness First Assembly. It's a big opportunity for you, are you up for it?'
Tosin was hesitant, the church name got his attention, 'Holiness First Assembly.' A time when one is expecting a baby out of wedlock isn't the best time to be invited to any Holiness gathering, he reasoned. Bad market.
'It's okay to say no, though...I already know you're busy with responsibilities in your own church.' Bishop stretched out his hand towards him as he spoke. It had an envelope in it.
'Thank you sir,' Tosin collected the envelope with both hands, 'it's a privilege sir, I will join you sir!'
'I hope the money in the envelope is not what is inspiring you, my young man?' Bishop joked. They both burst out laughing.
'No sir, it's not.'
'Very well then, my driver will pick you up by 8am Sunday morning, be prepared...and tell my receptionist to apologize to those waiting and reschedule them for tomorrow, something important just came up. I shan't see any more visitors today.'
*****
Doyin's hospital ward.
Dr Odili was pleased with Doyin's recovery pace. She had responded well to treatments. As Doyin got better, she finally able to tell her mom the whole story, about her and Tosin.
'I believe you Dodo, I believe everything you've said but your dad is still much upset, so I think it's better we keep the young man out of the picture for now. Ok?'
'Ok mom. Thank you for being here for me.' Doyin squeezed her mom's hand lovingly.
'What's the young man's name again?' Her mom asked as she arranged the beverages she bought on top of the small drawer beside the bed.
'Tosin ma, Tosin Adedeji but mom promise me that dad won't hear this name till I decide...'
'You don't need to tell me that. I know the man I married. He could do something to the young man he will regret later.'
Mrs Beatrice Cooker, Doyin's mom, was a soft spoken and light skinned woman, whose age only dignified her beauty. She was as displeased as her husband about Doyin's unplanned pregnancy but was more temperate. She understood that her love would do more now for her daughter than a thousand scolds, after all, the deed was already done. 'Why cry over spilt milk?'
'Tosin? I hope he's not some irresponsible street urchin somewhere?' Mrs Cooker pressed.
'Ah ah naa...mummy!?' A playful frown flashed over Doyin's face.
'Anyway, some good news, doc said by tomorrow evening, you'd be free to go home. Lucky for you the signs of pregnancy are not showing up on you at all yet, so you can attend the the 39th anniversary special service at church this Sunday.'
'I don't know about that mom...'
'Ehn en. No complaints. You don't want to aggravate your dad hostilities towards you than it already is, he hasn't spoken again about the abortion you know. Don't push your luck. I'm going home, I shall be back tomorrow.' Mrs Cooker ruffled her daughter's hair then picked up her bag and walked out.
******
Doyin didn't say a word as they drove to church, in fact, nobody in the car did. An awkward silence pervaded the whole car. Deacon Cooker, wore his trademark expressionless look and focused more than was necessary on the road -it was his attempt at evading the awkward situation in the car. Mrs Beatrice Cooker sat in the front passenger's seat. Olamide, Doyin direct elder brother, who had come in from his NYSC post the night before, had his earpiece on, nothing was playing though on his phone. He was thinking about Doyin and what his mom had told him about her drastic change and unexpected pregnancy.
They had sat in the cool evening breeze at the house balcony. His mom's conclusion was probably true, but he knew it would be hard to follow.
'Your sister needs our love and encouragement, especially at this time in her life, she had said.
'Oh God! I can't believe this, I know Doyin is wayward but...'
'Was, Olamide. Was wayward.' His mom her corrected him, 'she's changed now and bring down your voice before your sister hears you, she's still awake in her room.'
'What difference does it make, mom? If it's was or is, the baby is still coming. Isn't it?' He was exasperated. He got up to leave.
"And if you check it out, the 'Bob Marley' who's responsible for the pregnancy, will be some irresponsible juvenile somewhere!"
'Tosin Adedeji. Not Bob Marley.' Mrs Cooker had spoken to correct without thinking about her promise to Doyin to keep the name a secret.
Olamide's eyes widened with a sinister look.
'So that's his name abi...?'
Mrs Cooker put her left palm over her opened mouth. 'Oh no. I shouldn't have said that...you must never say that name to your dad, pleeease.'
He had given her a disgusted gaze and walked out on his mom that night without replying. 'Tosin Adedeji', he internalized it. He would never forget it.
When he came to, his dad was driving into their church's rusted red gate. He looked at the old sign post, the bold print: 'Holiness First Assembly' was the only clear writing on it, most of the other info had cleaned off wholly or partly.
'Does everything have to look old and worn out to be holy?' He thought aloud. No one spoke.
They all alighted from car, and began adjusting their clothes to go inside the church for the service.
'First row, on the right mid aisle: One family!' Deacon finally spoke as he locked the car door.
Everyone knew what he meant. The whole family sitting together on the 'first row of the right middle aisle.'
Doyin and Olamide exchanged glances and began walking in. They hated the one family sitting arrangement.
******
The service was mid way through, Olamide looked at his watch. 10:49am. The guest ministers arrived during the hymnal session. Bishop Hanson and his entourage. Doyin's hymn book fell off her hands as she looked up from it at the entourage and recognized Tosin among them. He hadn't seen her though. She felt like her head was spinning and reached out, grabbed her seat and sat down.
'Oh God, no! This can't be happening.'
The entourage, including Tosin was led to the first row, left mid aisle, where elders had reserved seats while the Bishop was taken to sit beside the resident pastor.
As the hymn session was ending Doyin got up and walked out. She had told her mom she wanted to use the ladies convenience, that wasn't entirely true. She wondered what had brought Tosin to their church.
Bishop had made the arrangements already, as the members of the congregation took their seats at the end of the hymns, a lanky elderly man with all grey hair walked up to take the microphone. He was a deacon too.
'Praise God church!'
'Hallelujah!' The congregation responded.
'We are glad to have a true servant of God in our midst today. One whose efforts have pushed the Gospel far in our days. Bishop Hanson!' The congregation applauds in response.
'But to lead us into that presence of God, where our hearts are ready for the sermon, the Bishop has graciously brought a young ministrel along. Kindly put your hands together for Jesus as we make welcome Minister Toship; Tosin Adedeji!'
A look of sudden alarm flashed through Olamide's eyes amidst the ongoing applause. "Tosin what?!"
Deacon Cooker sat beside his son clapping along.
"Dad? 'Tosin who?', did they just announce?"
Deacon looked disinterestedly at Olamide with obvious disapproval for a second before replying. 'What importance is that to you? Can't you be reverent in the house of God?' Of course he had heard the full name but wasn't going to join in whatever puerile games Olamide was at.
'Oh come on dad..' Olamide looked desperate. 'If that young man is Tosin Adedeji, then he's very likely the one responsible for Doyin's pregnancy!'
He had hit the wrong button and he instantly regretted his hasty words. Deacon turned sharply to him, the look in his eyes had changed. It was fierce.
'What?! Are you sure of what you just said?'
Olamide looked at his father not sure how to answer.
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